EXCUSE THIS HOUSE

I guess I need to develop my blogging muscles. I think of all kinds of interesting things when I'm driving around, but I don't get around to writing it down very often. I think it's a little scary, because when you write something it's more real. Hummmh.............

Several people have asked about the poem I read on the show last week. Here it is. It means a lot to me because it was given to me by a friend of one of my sons who felt the poem described our home. I liked that.

EXCUSE THIS HOUSE

Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there—
Ours boasts of it quite openly,
The signs are everywhere—

For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize, I guess,
For toys strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read;
And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I’m forced to choose
The one job or the other;
I want to be a housewife—
But first I’ll be a mother

Author Unknown

The magic of gratitude

I signed up for a weekly "Message from the Universe" at tut.com. and here is one I received recently:

"If you can imagine it, you can have it, Mari. This is the name of the game. This is the lesson to learn. It couldn't be any easier. Reality is not what your eyes show your mind, but what your mind creates for your eyes to see. You are not limited by logic, the past, or the world around you... Magic, miracles, and luck are the consequences of understanding this, the inevitable result of dreaming and acting in spite of appearances".
The Universe

Interestingly, I had been thinking about how often I get what I want, though often not in the way I expect it. For example, I've been dreaming of the day we can afford a make up and hair person on the show. Well, we just had a lady volunteer to do my hair and make up in exchange for a line credit at the end of the show.

Sometimes I get what I want and don't realize it. This morning I was running in our beautiful neighborhood park across the street. I'm not much of a runner, but I've been doing a 12 minute interval training work out, and in typical multitasking mode, I use that time for affirmations and gratitude. I noticed how beautiful the park is, and was giving thanks for it. All of a sudden I realized it looked like pictures I had seen in the past in movies or magazines. So often I have said "I would like a huge beautiful yard like that, but I don't want to take care of it". Suddenly I realized I have had that "huge beautiful yard/park" for many years, and didn't appreciate it fully because I had not taken the time to give specific thanks. Wow.

It's like things do not fully come into being until we express gratitude for them.

My new TV show is on the air!

I meant to post right after the TV show launch, but I have been too busy do so. It’s like getting a boulder rolling, takes lots of effort. Once the boulder is going it’s not so hard to keep it moving.

The real reason is that I was very surprised and disappointed after doing the first show. I was so excited the night before I hardly slept. Not afraid anymore, just looking forward to doing the show. I felt like I was waiting for Christmas morning. I was expecting it to be like when I MC'd Luz De las Naciones at the Conference Center. Lots of hard work, but when I stood in front of those 25,000 people it was magic.

The TV show didn't feel at all like that. Have you ever noticed a mom with a bunch of little kids she's trying to keep entertained and under some sort of control? That's what it felt like. I was trying to MAKE everything work, make everyone do their part and I felt frustrated. After “processing” all week, I watched the tape of the show once again and realized that I had been trying to force an outcome. So I gave up trying to control what was beyond my control and instead decided to focus on what I did have power over, my attitude.

I set a simple intention (objective) for the next show. I would be present and I would enjoy the ride, every minute. So I did! Interestingly that changed the dynamics and all of a sudden I was able to change things and make decisions that involved others, but were mine to make.

What's interesting is that I believe one of the things that has worked for me, as a parent, is being emotionally present with my children, (recognizing them as human beings, not just "my children") and rarely "forcing" anything. I don't know why I thought it would be different with the Home Team.

If you go to http://www.kjzz.com/entertainment/hometeam/thursday you can watch clips of the show.

Dreams & Cliff jumping

After months of planning and years of preparation, here I am about to launch the TV show I’ve been dreaming of…and I’m not sure I want to do it anymore!

It’s not the myriad of things that have to be done. I can do that. I think it’s the fear of disappointment. It is so much easier to dream big dreams, come up with ideas, make plans. Now that the dream will soon be reality, I’m afraid that the reality might not live up to the dream!

It would be so much easier to put it off or even forget about doing the show. I could say to myself “well at least I tried” and be content with enjoying my wonderful, simple life.

Maybe I’m just scared. In fact this feels like “cliff jumping”.

Cliff jumping is something my children like to do when we go to Lake Powell. I watch them climb high up the rocks, then jump joyously into the water below. I have even climbed and stood at the top of the cliff, but I have never jumped. It’s too scary. I tell myself that I’m enjoying myself just fine by watching them jump. I don’t need to do it. It’s great just being there, enjoying the family and the scenery and floating in the water. And that’s all true, but I have wondered if it would be worth it to take the leap.

So that brings me back to the TV show. I have made the climb and it's almost time to leap. I think I'll borrow some of my children's courage.

Writing a cookbook

My children laughed uproariously when I announced I was writing a cookbook. You see, they and my patient husband, know full well how seldom I follow recipes. It's not that I don't like recipes, on the contrary, I love recipes! I'm always cutting them out of magazines and putting them in files. But it's the possibilities I love, the adventure of creating something new.

The other night, for example, I had some left over rotisserie chicken and wanted to make some chicken salad. I looked at various recipes in my many cookbooks, noted the similarities and the differences. Then taking all these into consideration and based on the ingredients I had on hand and personal taste (less curry, more onions and raisins) I came up with my own and delicious chicken salad. This is also how I do life. I love to learn from others, then do it my way!

Thoughts on Harry Potter

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows. Not only a great read, but a few nuggets of wisdom to boot. Here is my favorite, found on page 671. It is a description of James, Harry’s father, when he and Snape first meet as young boys:

“…slight, black haired like Snape, but with that indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored, that Snape so conspicuously lacked.”
It hit me that this is one of the great gifts we hopefully give our children. That indefinable air of confidence that comes from being loved and nurtured.
Later that afternoon my son, Jason, confirmed my theory. I was giving him and a friend a ride to a game and we were discussing something challenging he wanted to do. I automatically responded, “Oh you’ll be fine, you have a great mind”. He chuckled and said to his friend, “That’s why I’m so cocky, she’s always saying stuff like that”. I don’t think anyone would describe Jason as cocky, he is a sensitive, generous, friendly kid. But he is confident. He has that “indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored”. I’m glad I can give him that.

This Rachel Drives a sports car

Recently, my husband picked me up from the airport driving this car.

There's a story behind this car. Every day we drive past this Mitsubishi dealership. I had often commented on the cute Eclipse sports cars, but never actually for once thought that I would buy this for myself. I still have kids to drive around!

But my husband knew better. I was out of town when my old car’s engine started heating up, so he took it in to the dealership. It was going to cost several thousand dollars to repair it, so we decided to just trade it in for a newer car. He told me on the phone about this great silver Eclipse, “6 speeds, lots of power”.

I complained – “who cares about speed and power, I drive children around, within the speed limit, I need a sensible car” – but I really did want it, my husband knew I wanted it, my kids knew I wanted it. And they all knew I was Rachel – only I was still thinking I was Leah. (See Whitney Johnson's wonderful post, Rachel vs. Leah: Reclaiming our power to dream) http://daretodream.typepad.com/weblog/2006/10/rachel_vs_leah_.html

The first 3 days I was embarrassed to drive my flashy little car. Then my teenage son
reminded me, “Mom, not allowing yourself to enjoy a gift is being ungrateful”. That’s
when I remembered I was a Rachel, and began to enjoy driving me new car.

How is it possible that I'd never even test-driven the car?
What dreams have we not taken for a spin?
Are we surrounding ourselves with people that see our Rachel?

BTW, power and speed do mean something. It’s a lot more fun getting to the speed
limit, when you can do it really fast!